It’s over. You win. You’ve almost completely depleted my army—I spent all of yesterday morning calling Goombas and informing them that their husbands were killed in action. Do you know what it sounds like when a Goomba woman cries? Imagine the noise of a thousand nails scraping against a thousand chalkboards, punctuated by TV static. It’s like that, but worse.
Two of my best friends won Cutest Couple of our senior class. First time in my school history a same sex couple has even been able to run for this category, not to mention winning it. So proud of them, and my school.